Saturday, October 23, 2010

Barack In Glendale

Yesterday, President Barack Hussein Obama arrived in Glendale for an interview with a local Spanish language station just a few blocks from my home.  Carumba!  What traffic!  But what I did not expect was his stopping by afterward to say hello to his favorite blogger mom Susan-in-Glendale before jetting off from Burbank airport. 

A partial transcript has been kept...

Susan: "Mr. President, may I say I greatly respect your Office.  But I must tell you, I am quite frustrated..."

Barack:  "Susan, let me be clear, no one knows better than me about frustration, my youth spent in foreign and exotic lands, forced to attend private, elite schools in Hawaii and Cambridge.  But let me say, I am concerned that your frustrations have colored your judgment, it is my understanding you may vote for some Republican candidates this election."

Susan:  "You can count on that, sir."

Barack:  "Then make no mistake, I'm certain this is merely your temporal and irrational emotional reaction to perceived negative economic conditions by which you've naively forgotten the many accomplishments of my Administration, most recently my Summer of Recovery."

Susan:  "Yes, our family is still recovering.  You won't have much luck putting lipstick on THAT pig..."

Barack: "Change isn't easy, and I'm certain you'd agree with me if you can only just take the time to analyze the totality of the national debt vis a vis my many accomplishments in a coherent and educated manner, which I imagine you can do as a once-fellow Occidental College student like myself. "

Susan:  "I'm not so sure, Mr. P, and um, I left Oxy after a year to go to state school, so I'm not sure we really relate at that level."

Barack:  "Perhaps, but let me be clear, in my travels throughout our country and our 57 states..."

Susan:  "Um.  50.  That's 50 states, sir."

Barack:  "Hey, look, it says 57 right there on the teleprompter and besides, who's the President here?  You've been watching too much Fox News, wanting to exclude 7 entire states from our country, while I say, let's embrace all the states, not just the ones we like.  It's just like when I look at a U.S. coin and I read the inscription 'One Nation Under' -- I think to myself, 'we can do better, we shouldn't be going under, we can be "One Nation Above!" ' "

Susan:  "Excuse me sir. Aren't you misstating what the coin says, it says "One Nation Under GOD"."  You're omitting God, the Creator.  And it's not the first time...

Barack:  "See, I hate to say it, but again you're illustrating the dangers of listening to Rush Limbaugh and watching Fox News and becoming so misinformed.  Make no mistake!  We can be One Nation Above it all, rather than One Nation Going Under as Fox and the Republicans want with their politics of exclusion and confusion."

Susan: "Yes sir, I am getting confused."

Barack:  "My point exactly."

Susan:  "Yes, sir.  I realize that."

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