Thursday, December 20, 2012

The Twelve Days of Christmas: Meaning behind Politically Correct code of Catholic Faith

Back in 16th century, Catholics were persecuted to the point of death just for practicing their religion.  The traditional carol "The Twelve Days of Christmas" originated as a secret, politically correct teaching mnemonic that could be sung publicly to remind Catholics of the doctrinal elements of their Faith.

Here are the catechetical meanings behind "The Twelve Days of Christmas": 

12 Lords A-leaping = Twelve basic tenets of Catholic Faith outlined in the Apostles' Creed;

11 Pipers Piping = the eleven faithful Apostles remaining after Judas the Betrayer left;

10 Ladies Dancing = the Ten Commandments;

8 Maids A-Milking = the Eight Beatitudes;

7 Swans A-Swimming = the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Faith;

6 Geese A-Laying = Six Commandments of the Church or the six days of Creation;

5 Golden Rings = the first Five Books of Old Testament, the Pentateuch, also known as the Torah, telling of man's fall from grace;

4 Calling Birds = the Four New Testament Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John

3 French Hens = the Three Persons of the Trinity, God the Father, Jesus the Son, and the Holy Spirit; alternatively, the Three Theological Virtues of Faith Hope and Charity, or the gifts borne by the Magi to the Christ Child of Gold (indicating royalty), Frankincense (indicating divinity) and Myrrh (a costly burial perfume prefiguring Jesus' death);

2 Turtle Doves = the dual natures of Jesus -- His Divinity and His Humanity, or alternatively the two parts comprising the Bible, the Old and New Testaments; 

and A Partridge in a Pear Tree = Jesus Himself on the tree, the symbol of the Cross.  

Finally, “My true love”  = God and “me” is the individual singing the song.

Merry Christmas!

Sources:  here, here and here.

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Where to Retire -- Humor

Got this via email from my favorite liberal.  Don't know the original author, but it made me laugh out loud!

You can retire to Phoenix, Arizona where...
1. You are willing to park 3 blocks away because you found shade.
2. You've experienced condensation on your hiney from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
3. You can drive for 4 hours in one direction and never leave town.
4. You have over 100 recipes for Mexican food.
5. You know that "dry heat" is comparable to what hits you in the face when you open your oven door.
6. The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

You can retire to California where...
1.. You make over $250,000 and you still can't afford to buy a house.
2. The fastest part of your commute is going down your driveway.
3. You know how to eat an artichoke.
4. You drive your rented Mercedes to your neighborhood block party.
5. When someone asks you how far something is, you tell them how long it will take to get there rather than how many miles away it is.
6. The 4 seasons are: Fire, Flood, Mud, and Drought.
You can retire to New York City where...
1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know you mean Manhattan .
2. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park, but can't find Wisconsin on a map.
3. You think Central Park is "nature."
4. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multi-lingual.
5. You've worn out a car horn. (Ed. Note if you have a car).
6. You think eye contact is an act of aggression.
You can retire to Minnesota where...
1. You only have four spices: salt, pepper, ketchup, and Tabasco .
2. Halloween costumes fit over parkas.
3. You have more than one recipe for casserole.
4. Sexy lingerie is anything flannel with less than eight buttons.
5. The four seasons are: winter, still winter, almost winter, and construction.
You can retire to the South where...
1. You can rent a movie and buy bait in the same store.
2. "Y'all" is singular and "all y'all" is plural.
3. "He needed killin" is a valid defense.
4. Everyone has 2 first names: Billy Bob, Jimmy Bob, Mary Ellen , Betty Jean, Mary Beth, etc.
5. Everything is either "in yonder," "over yonder" or "out yonder." It's important to know the difference, too.
You can retire to Colorado where...
1. You carry your $3,000 mountain bike atop your $500 car.
2. You tell your husband to pick up Granola on his way home and so he stops at the day care center.
3. A pass does not involve a football or dating.
4. The top of your head is bald, but you still have a pony tail.
You can retire to the Midwest where....
1. You've never met any celebrities, but the mayor knows your name.
2. Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor.
3. You have had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" on the same day.
4. You end sentences with a preposition: "Where's my coat at?"
5. When asked how your trip was to any exotic place, you say, "It was different!"
FINALLY You can retire to Florida where.
1. You eat dinner at 4:15 in the afternoon.
2.. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars..
3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist.
4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state.
5. Cars in front of you often appear to be driven by headless people.