Saturday, September 24, 2011

Cain beats Perry the Platypus in Florida Straw Poll

What do the results of the Florida straw poll teach us?

Obama’s divisive race baiting isn’t working. White crackers will vote for a black man. Cain is a genuine, conservative business man who merits more media time to sell a revolutionary 999 tax plan that will liberate the economy and is as simple as a pizza sales promotion.

Bachmann may have fatally vaccinated herself in the foot with an overdose of Gardisil. Newt is the old guard GOP statesman channeling Reagan. And Santorum has all the right beliefs but lacks the right delivery.

We now know that Governors Perry and Romney are actually moderates who played dueling banjos with their own books in order to snatch victory for liberal ideas from the jaws of Obama's certain defeat.

Like the Australian animal mix of mammal and bird, Perry the Platypus is a dangerous amalgam of liberal ideas wearing conservative cowboy boots. Perry’s positions on immigration are dangerous and schizophrenic at best. Boots on the ground can’t beat free college tuition and preference in admissions. Perry is playing the liberal race card by calling folks “heartless” who oppose his Dream Act. They just want a secure border and what’s wrong with that?

So, Pizza delivery beats Perry the Platypus.

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